Divorce & Social Media - A Toxic Mix

Albuquerque, NM -- (SBWire) -- 04/09/2013 --The lure of social media is just too strong to resist for some. Some feel compelled to share their every thought and moment throughout the day. Not only do they share, but they do so in the most artful ways with photos, video, links, diary style entries, and the like. Remarkably, these same folks are often shocked to find that all of this is admissible in court against them in their divorce proceedings (or other legal or other legal proceedings for that matter).

For a lawyer, it's great to have such a giving and sharing individual on the other side of a court case. It is not as pleasant when it is the lawyer's own client who has basically prepared the trial notebook complete with exhibits for the other side.

Unfortunately, once all of this information is posted, there is little to do to fix it. It is a permanent record. It will always be there to be recovered by your soon to be ex and his or her attorneys (or other authorities) if they want to retrieve it. In fact, most courts will issue a court order requiring disclosure. Some courts have gone so far as to require parties to a divorce or other lawsuit to turn over passwords.

Though you cannot erase your social media (Facebook, Twitter, Google+...) history, and there could be serious consequences for even trying such as spoliation of evidence, adverse inferences, and contempt in divorce and family law court. In criminal prosectuions which come up far too often in divorce and family law cases, there might even be criminal charges for obstruction of justice for the attempted destruction of evidence.

Though the record is permanent, you can take a few simple steps to protect what little remains your privacy. Likewise, though some damage may already be done, you can stop the carnage and/or minimize the damages to your case.

Step Number 1 - Ramp Up Your Privacy Settings
There are numerous possible settings to set who all can view your page and equally important who can post to your page. This second aspect is often quite important since it is your friends (some well-meaning, others not so much) who will often post the most damaging comments, photos, videos and the like. In a divorce or other legal case, the privacy settings should be set very high.

Step number 2 - Cull Your List of Friends
Just because you have your privacy settings set high, does not mean your friends will not share your information from their own pages. If you must share with some friends, choose those friends carefully. This goes back to the beginning thought which is that once shared, social media is permanent. No matter what happens to your own account, your information is out there somewhere and trust that it can be found. Assume the worst when dealing with social media in a divorce.

Step Number 3 - Stop Posting
If you cannot stop posting completely, at least stop posting anything that might come back to bite you. Preferably, you would stop posting at all. There are actually studies showing that people would rather lose their sense of smell than the use of Facebook. So perhaps, this is asking too much. But is it asking too much to counsel against self-destruction?

Rest assured, if you cannot resist the urge to share your thoughts with the world, those thoughts will also be shared with the judge. Not only might this be humiliating in court, it can be quite damaging to the outcome of your case.

Step Number 4 - Discuss Your Sharing History with Your Attorney
This is perhaps the most important step for those who find themselves vulnerable from their liberal sharing tendencies. In short, discuss the problems candidly with your attorney. Hiding it from your attorney is the worst thing you can do. Assume that it will be found and who would you rather find it first, your attorney or your ex's?