Los Angeles, CA -- (SBWire) -- 09/05/2014 --Knee Defender --If you want to find a knee defender, good luck, people were stocking up before the holiday. The company said sales are soaring in spite of it being banned by many of America’s largest airlines, as well as carriers such as the Australian firm Qantas. Peoplehave been very careful to hide their knee defenders when stewardesses comeby, but airlines strongly recommended checking their policy before boarding with such a device.

It works so well, a number of passengershave been escorted off airplanes, one who was using it angered the woman in the seat in front of him so much, she threw a cup of water on him. Trigger-happy flight crew who seemed to have thoughts of 9-11 and pulled into the nearest airport to eject the two of them. A rep for the airline pointed out, “Which would you rather have, cramped legs, or an extra ‘leg’ on your trip?”

Cell Phone Jammers -- Many states have banned talking on your cellphone while driving, but Florida is not one of them. So 60-year-old vigilante Jason R. Humphreys took matters into his own hands.

As The Tampa Tribune reports, Humphreys brought a cellphone jammer along on his commute every day for two years. He stated is purpose was to ensure that his fellow commuters remained focused on the road. Until two local sheriff’s deputies caught him in the act and slapped him with $48,000 worth of fines, which he must pay or otherwise respond to within a month. It apparently took Metro PCS and the FCC a year to figure out what kept shutting down all the signals along his stretch of the highway.

Bullet Proof Briefcase – Another popular idea is a briefcase with bulletproof plates embedded in it. If a firefight breaks out on your way to the office from Starbucks, you'll be safe. Or, more specifically, a three-foot-long rectangular area will be safe. In the demonstration, however, in the video demonstration the rep was forced to choose whether he wanted to protect the head or his lower areas.

Protection from Ebola – For many U.S. citizens, the fear of Ebola is matched only by the fear of looking stupid while wearing a mask in public. Using the masks as an outlet for artistic creativity has become one way to overcome this problem.

The Electrified “No Contact” Jacket -- A fashionable new jacket is being marketed that will send 80,000 volts through anybody that touches your torso. Somehow, the manufacturers of “No Contact” say, according to a representative, “We have engineered this jacket so that it won't shock you if your own hand or face brushes the electrified sleeve during the struggle.”Consumers are advised to investigate this claim carefully before purchase.

Lastly, the “Cellphone Stun Gun” – starting to make sales around the globe. Sales are brisk in spite of safety expert Shelly Pearson reminding us, “Say you're yapping away on your cell at the mall, when that burly guy with a surfboard asks you to please kindly shut the heck up. Little does he know, your ‘phone’ is actually a 950,000 volt pacifier, your ex-wife is his current girlfriend, and ‘you’ are actually a schizophrenic and a danger to society. All real safety experts say even a well-meaning person is going to have with The Pretender cell phone stun gun. Or let’s say a woman is driving at night, her real cell phone rings, she digs around in her purse and pulls out her ‘phone’. Bzzzzzzrp!”

Pearson concludes, “Let’s hope that everyone beings to consider the actual safety factor of any safety device before buying!”

ABOUT EDWARD BASS
Edward Bass is a Golden-Globe nominated film Producer and Columnist. He has worked alongside such producers as Sir Anthony Hopkins, James Franco, Guillermo Del Toro, Stanley Kramer and Kevin Spacey.

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